“Isn’t a Mentor/Coach just a Glorified Friend?” and Other Myths…
Myth vs. Reality
The coaching industry boomed in 2020, but as the hype faded, valid criticisms emerged from the internet with reports of scams, unfufilled promises, manipulative tactics, overinflated services, and MLM-style schemes. These reports have made people wary—and rightfully so.
While I’ve mostly had positive experiences with practitioners, coaches and mentors myself, I still refuse to ignore the industry’s flaws (and trust me, i’ve seen some ugly flaws in this industry…maybe a blog post for another day🤔)
In an uncertain economy, skepticism is healthy and I always advise people to use a hefty dose of critical thinking for themselves, prior to making what is often a 4 to 5 figure investment. As a mentor driven by my values, I will NEVER pressure you (or anyone) to make a misaligned decision.
However one critique I’ve heard, is worth pushing back on.
There’s a myth that coaches are just "paid friends." You know, people who offer questionable life advice that you might be able to get for free from loved ones. At first glance, this seems fair, and sure they might be able to offer valuable support. After all, why pay someone when your inner circle already supports you? But this argument misses a crucial point: friends and family aren’t always objective.
Unless they have walked a similar path ahead of you and are now living as an example of what it is you want to embody, then, they aren’t the ones you should be asking for advice about your soul’s purpose.
Why The Village can’t always Guide you
The people closest to you love you, but they’re also invested in your staying familiar—even if that keeps you stuck.
Ever tried making a big change, only to be teased, doubted, subtly discouraged or interrogated out of it? It’s not malice; it’s human nature.
When I became a vegetarian at 12, it came at my parents chagrin. They badgered me, and fear-mongered exaggerated health claims in attempt to change my mind. Despite this, at that age, I stayed true to my decision and have been since. I share this not to brag, but to remind you that change, even ones based in principle, often can come at a cost—that cost being congruence with the people you love the most.
Your "village" may unconsciously prefer the version of you that fits their expectations, not the you pursuing soul expansion.
Professional advisors do not replace community, but they do give you an unbiased perspective, call out self-sabotage, and hold you accountable. We are trained and positioned to leave out the personal baggage and bias that your friends, family and communities might inherently carry. That’s not to shame them, it just comes with the territory!
Unlike friends or partners, a mentor/coach isn’t tied to your past.
We aren’t married to your comfort zone, nor your community’s expectations. We, in some ways, can see more clearly through the fog, and in turn, give you the opportunity to also see with fresh eyes.
We ask: "Is this really what you want?"
Our Job isn't to Like You
…and trust me, that’s a good thing in the end.
Here’s why: your friends and family love you, but that affection can come with its own kind of complicated conditions and a series of unspoken agreements . The kind that sometimes has underlying expectations about who you should be or how you “should” act. And often, this is based on a version of yourself that you’re ready to outgrow/transform. It might even be the version of yourself that is causing you the pain in the first place.
A mentor's primary role is not to like you (in the sense of being emotionally attached to a specific version of you) nor are we here coddle you, or keep you comfortable in your old stories, behavioral patterns, and programmed mindsets. But we absolutely want to help you. We are on your side.
In fact, we might piss you off sometimes by calling out those things that your friends might never call out. That’s because we refuse to co-sign your excuses (with kindness of course!) Here's the hidden gift in that: we're the person you are paying to tell you the truth without worrying about how it affects the relationship.
That tension? That's where real growth happens. When your village cheers for you staying "you," we're the ones asking: "Who could you become if you stopped performing for everyone else's comfort?"
The Cost of Seeking Validation from the Lost
Worse yet, many of us end up turning to friends who are just as lost. And this isn’t to shade our friends because we are all on our own unique journey. But if someone hasn’t figured out their own life and their purpose, how can they guide yours?
It’s unreasonable and illogical to expect that from them, right?
But in trying to avoid the discomfort, we might preserve the relationship at the expense of our own calling.
For the record, no I’m not telling you to abandon your village.
Those relationships absolutely matter.
However, the biggest leaps you’ll ever make (the ones that actually align with your soul’s work) will absolutely disrupt the status quo. I argue that’s the point. It might be the ONLY guarantee you get on this path.
When you stop performing, when you stop shrinking to make others comfortable, there will be backlash. Maybe it’s passive-aggressive comments, maybe you become group chat fodder, maybe you get the side eye. Or worst case, you meet outright resistance. But either way, consider it proof you’re doing something bigger than their ability to see or understand.
This is the cost of doing business when you’re rewriting your life. How you navigate that resistance makes all the difference. You CAN hold your boundaries without apology. You CAN lead with love but not compliance. Welcome to The Work™️.
This isn’t about them, this is about YOU
As a spiritual mentor, my primary goal is to empower you and to help you develop your own unique spiritual toolkit that helps you live a magical life of clarity and purpose.
Do you want to keep living for others’ expectations OR are you ready to take full ownership of your path? Even if it ruffles feathers. Even if it means making hard choices. Because let’s be real: no one else holds the key to your future. Not your partner, not your friends, not your village, not even me.
Only you.
Can’t wait to meet you on the path,
Christina
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P.S. Ready to turn that key? If so, I’m here to support you as you unlock the door.
Book your free 1:1 chat here for next steps, if you want to work together.